The World of Mine

Love is you
Sweet and simple
Love is you
Beautiful and intangible
Love is you
Warm and tender
Love is you
As pure as the snow
As deep as the Pacific Ocean
Love is you
As dazzling as the stars
As tranquil as the night sky
Love is you
As soothing as the wind
As strong as a tornado
Love is you
As close as veins to a heart
But as distant as Messier 69
Love is you
A past, a present, a future
Love is you
An faithful hope
Love is you
A dream that might never come true

Whoa... I cant believe I really did not write anything for the blog nor for my diary (indeed, I still keep one; sort of) during the past month. I've been attacked by that so-called chronic laziness, equipped by an empty or messy state of mind or a combination of both.

I've been lost in the world of Korean drama and Japanese manga stories, a thing that I had never been before in my life particularly for the former; and the only thing that interrupted my distancing and disconnecting with people was my job.

Well, even while working I believe I appeared sort like a zombie because my soul was hardly in the same place with my body. It was lost in that world of fictions.

Gosh, don't you think I was in a complete mess...?

I'm kinda recovering now; that's why I begin writing here again. But as I haven't fully recovered yet, you can see that now my writing is rather pointless; there's no exact theme or else, that's why I name it "Gibberish".

I will talk about everything; whatever comes first in my mind. This is called a free writing, one of the senior editors once told us.

I'm just trying to restore my crave for writing, that's why I do the free writing; better than writing nothing at all.

Why was I in a mess?

Well, it might be started with my losing for the third time my precious Samsung MP3 player, which is a very good gadget to digitally recording the speech of source persons. I have bought the U2, U3 and less than two months ago the U4 series, but I've lost them all in a row within mere two years; all for rather stupid causes, because of my carelessness.

The last loss is the most inflicting because it is the most expensive and I had only kept it for a little longer than a month.

I was shocked, felt so stupid and wanted to shoot my head (this is only an expression, lol...). How could I lose those things so easily; like I have a lot of money... On the contrary, what made me more miserable is that because I'm in desperate shortage of money, in desperate need of salary rise and or extra job, which I couldn't have.

Indeed I dont agree with saying that money is not important and that what matters is you're happy. Those who say so I believe have never lived a poor life like mine and my family's. Of course being happy is important, but how will you ever feel happy and content when you always experience shortage of money while you need to afford your family, have to feed them and send the youngsters to school... Hmphh...

Anyway, let's stop talking about money, and let's start talking about Ramadhan... Well, I pity the fact that I dont welcome this Islamic holy fasting month as cordially as I did it in the previous years. My messy state of mind has contributed to this.

Ramadhan, nevertheless, has kept me from being lost too far in that insignificant fictional world. It has forced me to stay on the ground and to keep my wit.

It has also successfully replaced the sorrow that I had felt because of that stupid July 17 bombing in two U.S. hotel chains in Jakarta with a form of happiness, as everyone around me (the Muslims, of course) are welcoming merrily the month and suddenly turning rather religious. Those who don't do prayers in regular months suddenly do them during Ramadhan, and their facebook status are full of their cherishing for the month.

One even said that he wished Ramadhan was not just a single month, but along the year. But, I disagree with him. Why Allah made it last only for a month, well, I believe that has something to do with human's nature of a need of a momentum, of a need to do something different every once in a while; not just the same routinity for the rest of their life. The special one-month Ramadhan can fulfill that sort of need for most of Muslims.

Anyway, back to my messy state of mind, I guess it also has something to do with desperation. Indeed, desperations do you nothing but badness; I used to have managed to avoid it although I had seen no sign that my dreams would come true, but recently, due to three or four things, I indeed have to struggle a lot to keep being optimistic.

I guees I have to end my gibberish now; it's time to get back to work... Wish you all, who read this blog of mine, happiness... Never give up on your hopes; keep run after them. Just do it, just fly with all your might. Don't think about how far or how high you'd be able to fly; just fly until you reach your limit. In the end, you'll be in a place higher than where you are now.

- The End -