Yes, I have now 24-hour access to the Internet. Yes, I get now notification every time a new e-mail arrives in all my three e-mail accounts' inboxes. Yes I am now always signed in in the YM. And yes, I can now update my facebook status and see those of my friends without having to even open my PC.

My new Blackberry 8900 (I've got free from my office, btw) allows me to do all the stuff almost without any interruptions (excepting when I try to browse, which I believe must be due to the slow GPRS connection --this is a major chronic disease of Internet connection in Indonesia btw).

This is more than I've ever wished for. Yes, I used to wish I could have intensive access to the Internet just a few years ago, when I had to go to internet cafes and pay between Rp 4,000 and Rp 6,000 (about 0.5 U.S. cent) per one-hour terribly-poor access every time I wanted to see my e-mail, send some, google and browse.

But, well, now after I am fully, 24-hour connected to the Internet, a new problem arises, and that is distraction.

Yes, distraction.

I can't fight the temptation to continually check my Blackberry, to see whether the red flash light on the upper right of the screen is on, which indicates a new email, or a new YM message, or a new BBM (Blackberry Messenger) message, or a new facebook notification has arrived.

No, I don't check whether there is a notification in the gadget every hour. I check it every minute! Every minute while the gadget is somewhere visible around me and while I am awake.

While I watch TV, and my Blackberry is nearby, I will every once in a while see if the flash light is on. And so when I read a book, write, eat, wash clothes or dishes, and so on ...

That is the distraction. The Blackberry notifications. Now it's a real challenge for me to focus and concentrate on one object for long because I always want to know whether someone sends me something.

I am now so easily distracted, and that is because of the Blackberry.

I remember reading an article saying that this distraction, difficulty to concentrate 'phenomenon' has begun attacking people who are addicted to facebook (I dunno whether it applies to other social networking sites).

I am not addicted to facebook; I've even started to leave it.

But, those email, YM, BBM notifications, etc ... have likely made me addicted.

I'm not quite sure either if it is an addiction, as basically I don't enjoy being distracted like that.

I'm suspicious this has something to do with early symptoms of obsessive-compulsive behavior. Of course I don't expect myself to suffer from such psychological illness, but actually I've always been suspicious I do in rather mild extent.

If my friend reads about this obsessive-compulsive suspicion, however, she will surely laugh at me, call me paranoid (another psychological disorder), and say that I again only recklessly self-diagnose myself, whose results have never been correct.

Whatever the case, I don't care. All I want is ending this stupid 'addiction' to Blackberry notifications and earn back my capacity to focus on things without having to necessarily turn off the gadget.