The World of Mine

It looks like I am too coward to become a philanthropist.

About a year ago I met this boy in a house run by a poor charity foundation. As any other boys at the house, he affords his life by moving from one bus to another, singing his favorite singles with a dilapidated guitar with a hope that the passengers will like his songs or at least pity him that they don't mind giving him some small change.

Different from other boys who welcomed me rather flatly, this boy smiled a lot and asked my questions (I was assigned to write story on street children and their shelter houses) very eagerly. He also treated me very politely; in general I can say that the boy, as a source person, was very helpful and cooperative.

I earlier thought he was 12 years old or, if older, couldn't be more than 14. But, you know what? He said he was 18.

I was of course surprised, and the fact that he was not that young almost reduced my sympathy on him. But the way he told the story of his life, of how he left his parents as they divorced and then married another man and woman, of how he fled from a remote small town in Sumatra island and traveled hundreds of miles away alone --while he was still as little as eight-- to get to Jakarta, where he had no family nor acquaintance; to only end up on street and having to sing to earn money before the charity foundation found him and give him shelter and feed him... that was enough to amaze me and make me sympathize him.

I thought it must have been very terrible life he had had with his parents that he chose to live hard life on the cruel Jakarta streets (It's very terrifying, you know, what you can find on newspapers or TVs about the cruelty of the streets; starting from violence, sodomy with street children as the victims, to murders with mutilation). And worse, with poor formal education background (he was only an elementary school graduate), I think, unless there's a miracle, he has no future. He couldn't stay at the shelter house forever. In fact he had to soon leave because the house only accommodate those under the age of 19; while, on the other hand, he had yet to have enough skills nor certificates he would need to get a proper job.

It was those concerns, along with my sympathy, that made me think to not only make story of him and his friends' life, but also about being his guardian. I thought about financing his education until he could earn the equivalent high school diploma and helping him and his friends upgrade themselves by donating some books (they told me they liked reading but having not many books to read). With so, I hoped I could help open his way to better life in the future.

However, after inquiring a person from the foundation about the boy, I found out that he was not as innocent nor as sweet as I thought. In fact, he lied to me about his eagerness to go to school, as the person from the foundation told me how the boy, unlike his excited fellows, had abandoned a financial support to go to school as he was too lazy to attend classes. The person said the boy was addicted to a drug and recklessly spent his money to play video games in a play station rental or satisfied his addiction. He said the boy had no will to change nor willingness to leave his bad old habits.

That should be enough to discourage me from helping the boy, but that did not. I still thought about giving him second chance and helped his education, but I would only do it through the foundation because I didn't trust him quite well to let him hold the money. It was his fleeing from the shelter house that has discouraged me. Now that he left the house, how would I know he would use my money wisely, as I spend it for, if I ever give him some? How would I know he won't wrongly make use of my good intention to help him?

He has my number; he has tried to call me maybe hundreds time, but I only answered a few; the last one maybe five months ago.

During the phone calls, he said nothing but telling me about his recent condition; where he lived and what he did. However,his aggressiveness, how he tried to call me hundreds of times to my cellphone and home number, and even visited my office to try to meet me (I wasn't at office, thank God!), has really frightened me. What does he want? If he really needs me, he should send me SMS if I don't answer the phone call. But, he never did that; and I don't dare to ask why he keeps on calling. The aggressiveness makes me suspect him of planning bad things, of trying to deceive me for bad purposes, especially after more and more unknown numbers have since then (since I neglected his phone calls) tried to call me at midnight and whenever I answered, I did it only to find that the callers were some stupid boys trying to make some stupid talks with me (now I never answer unknown numbers again at midnight).

Even if I try not to think bad of the boy, that he is not planning bad things and only wants someone to talk to or needs some help, I also don't dare to answer the phone. With no body supervising him, I don't dare to give him any help, as I know nothing about street life. I only know how cruel it can be, and it's of a thing I've never been and will never wanna be in. I knew nothing of him but what he has told me, how would I know he did not lie to me as he had done before? No one can confirm that for me now.

I do still feel pity for him, but I don't know what I can do to help him without having to put myself in danger of a possible crime.

And if what happens is he indeed doesn't have any sort of bad intention, I'm also afraid he has too high expectation on me, that I can help him financially some times or help him find better job than singing on the street all the times.

The problem is, I'm not that affluent to help him leave his poor life. I want to help his education while he was still under the foundation's supervision because I'm sure it will receive funds from other people that can cover his lack of funding from me. And, I'm still very new in this job world (I was a fresh university graduate last year) that I have no capacity to help him find a job. Even if I know someone who can give him a job, I can't bear the responsibility of ensuring he would do his job well because I don't know him that well either.

Gosh, now I've learnt that I am indeed too coward to be a philanthropist. And I've started to really appreciate those who have the bravery to go straightly into the field to do that.

It is indeed confusing me; if the government enacts a new policy or the parliament passes a new bill into law, and the policy or the law seem to be just what the nation needs, how are we supposed to react?

Do we need to praise and support them, or shall we remain skeptical and learn to think that the fine policy or law is probably a mere political commodity?

The Indonesian government, after earlier announced it would raise the price of liquefied petroleum gas (LPG) that are widely used in households, finally decided to postpone the price hike at least until the Islamic fasting month of Ramadhan passes, which is very likely on Oct. 1.

I welcome the decision. The LPG price was just increased a few months ago, why shall the government ever increase it again?

I mean, c’mon, Indonesia is among countries with biggest natural gas reserves, and is the current largest producer of liquefied natural gas (LNG), while -- my business editor said -- only 2 percent of our total gas reserves have been used.

So, isn’t that normal if we don’t follow the movement of the global natural gas prices? Isn’t that normal if we Indonesians can still buy the gas in low prices? We have the gas, and we produce it ourselves, so why should we buy the gas at the same price with citizens of other countries importing the gas from us?

Besides, since we’ve turned from oil exporter to net importer, the government has told many of us – especially the poor – to convert from kerosene to LPG in fulfilling their household needs. Isn’t that so reckless if, after all those calls to convert, the government also raises the LPG price?

I don’t think the government should ever raise the price. So, not just postponing the price increase, I believe the government should never increase the price at all; it has no ground to do so.

This newspaper, however, accuses the government’s step of postponing the LPG price hike as President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono’s attempts to preserve its presidency post the 2009 elections. It says, quoting a dubious expert, that the president announced the “populist policy” to net voters.

It’s like they indirectly said that the President should immediately increase the LPG price, regardless of whether or not the price should ever be increased and whether or not it is what the people indeed need, if he doesn’t want to be accused of attempting to attract voters.

Similar cases are happening with the enactment of sharia-inspired bylaws in some regions and the House of Representatives’ decision to soon pass the “discriminative and anti-pluralism” anti-porn bill into law.

Governors, mayors, regents and political parties in support to the stuff have been labeled as attempting to net Muslim voters, who are a majority in this archipelago of 225 million people.

Regardless of whether or not the Muslim voters themselves really want the sharia-inspired bylaws and the anti-porn law, the high officials and the parties are accused of selling Islam as political commodities.

It’s like the newspaper indirectly said, ‘sincere officials and politicians are those who will never incorporate religious values in the public’s life’. The rest, are merely traders of political commodities.

The question is: didn’t the voters vote for the “religious” politicians because they want more religious life? Won’t it mean the politicians trick the voters if they pledged to serve for the latter’s aspirations in campaigns but not doing so when elected?

I think these political debates should be made clear; and all these reckless, illogical accusations just make things blurred.

If the policy or the law is just what the people - if not what the nation- need, what's wrong with enacting it?

We cannot satisfy everyone, each head living in the nation with a law or a policy; there must be those rejecting it.

However, if we consistently follow the principle of democracy of majority voice, I wonder why we have to wait for a law or a policy to please everybody, which could be forever...

If one's objected to the voice of majority, then blame democracy. Isn't that what it's all about? Tyranny of the majority?

The coming of the fasting month of Ramadhan is just what most, if not all, Muslims across the globe have been waiting for.
(I'm talking here about - of course - those who are convinced of their Muslim identity)

Why are we waiting for the coming of the month? Well, because it is part of our beliefs that Allah, the Almighty, multiplies rewards for good deeds to hundreds folds along the month, while generously forgive our wrongdoings (hey, nobody's perfect, right?). The month is also said to be full of blessings, etc, etc.

You can't argue with our faith on this holy month, as it is rooted from our fundamental faith of the existence and the oneness of the Creator and the validity of the Koran. If you want to argue us, you can do it on the two subjects.

Anyway, what I'd like to share here is that many Indonesian Muslims, like me, welcome the month heartily because it brings a very distinct, one-of-a-kind, very particular air that no other months can do us.

People celebrate the coming of the month in so many ways, and maybe the celebrations are among the main factors making it special.

They become more charitable, that's for certain; so I reckon that the poor also greet this month quite warmly.

They have more self-control (because anger can reduce the quality of our fasting), and so it's rather peaceful during the month (though of course, sometimes there could be some anomaly).

They somehow become more pious, and respect one another better (in other months, it is each person's selfish willingness that dominates).

And, notably in Indonesia, people become more family-men or -women, because it is better to have the dawn meal and do the breakfasting together with people we know, and enjoy the times with them, instead of doing it alone in a room.

Then, there are those Ramadhan-typical do-dads, such as snacks bazaars, homecoming (locally known as mudik here), special diets (such as kolak pisang - sweet banana soup with coconut milk), ngabuburit (taking afternoon walk while waiting for the breakfasting time, which is when the sun set) and so on...

The TV shows strengthen the typical air of the month, and so as the radio shows, newspapers and magazines' contents...nice business, huh?

Well, they are just among things that make the month so special.

It is too something pleasant to see that in my office both Muslims and the non-Muslims can enjoy the breakfast snacks together, and all get their parts.

Of course, there are those who can't stand this situation because night clubs, etc are closed down during Ramadhan and because they feel bad to eat freely while they don't fast...but, well, about foods, the restaurants are actually of course still available, and we Muslims don't mind seeing the non-Muslims eating, as long as they don't do it to purposely tempt us to break the fast.

Some people even wish that Ramadhan can be along the year and not just in a month. But, I guess, if it were so, Ramadhan won't be that special anymore, and, perhaps, people will just greet its coming coldly.

And it's so pity that many here still have narrow mind over the meaning of the month, and again do bad stuff they usually do in other months, such as corrupt practices, yelling at each other, and so on.