The World of Mine

If one asked me eight years ago which countries in the world I would want to visit at utmost, I would have still enthusiastically answered with: "the United States!"

However, after that 9/11 attack, I've no longer kept those dreams to visit America.

While thousands of death tolls and their families and friends are direct victims of the terrorism tragedy, there are those who are indirect victims, with even larger number (at least I believe so).

And me, with my very typical Muslim women's appearance, is just one of the latter.

Of course, as terrorism is often linked -- if not immediately associated, with Islam -- most people will likely think that non-Muslims, especially Americans and perhaps other Westerners, are potential victims of terrorism, while we Muslims are the culprits (or the terrorists, if ones reading this post can't help saying so).

This is not what I want to discuss in this posting. Shortly I will say confidently, 'NO, we are not terrorists as one of you or others think we are'.

If you think every Muslim is a copy of Osama bin Laden, I would say that it is like you think that every human is albino, which is not, because albinos, as well as Muslim terrorists (if they are indeed there) are anomaly.

What I want to say is that the 9/11 attack has truly taken one of its tolls on me. More specifically, on a dreamer me.

As I wrote at the beginning of this posting, I had always dreamed of flying to the US. I watch its movies, listen to its music and use its language. I wish to study at one of the universities there, many of which are regarded as the world's best universities.
I want to go to Chicago, which is a headquarter of my once favorite basketball team Chicago Bulls (when Michael Jordan was still there). I want to cross
the Mississippi River in style (as Huckleberry Finn did), want to visit Laura Ingalls' little house on the prairie and wander around the city where Meg, Jo, Beth, Amy March could have spent their teenage...and so on.

But, then, after the 9/11 attack took place and we Muslims became terrorist suspects, I see my pair of wings broken and they have yet to mend even until now. I see no hopes for me to fly to America, to step my feet at what was once the land of my dreams.

How would I ever do such things when my Muslim identity, the one I can never let go, becomes a source of suspicions of security guards and those blindly keeping their Islamophobia?

My "American dreams" have since gone as so have my hopes to visit the country without raising the stupid suspicions.

I have years ago shifted my eyes toward Europe, the United Kingdom in particular. Unfortunately, while I felt that my partiality toward the country was growing amiably stronger and stronger, I had to face the fact that London, too, has turned unfriendly to people like me since the 2005 bombings. And Denmark, Germany and French just follow.

Well, well, well, now I don't know if I'm still eager to visit the UK. I wish I could still visit peaceful Switzerland, inhaling fresh air of the Alps and enjoying its beauty; or explore the Northern forests, in which I could perhaps see beavers' nest and lakes, as well as see the rows of fir trees or colorful autumn leaves.

I hope no terrorists will ever attack those places because if they do, then it will be the end of my dreams days and I will have to get stuck in this hot, humid tropical country called the Unitary Republic of Indonesia, a beautiful archipelago, actually, but a little too messy here and there.

Can you see it now? Me, a 100% percent Muslim, is also a victim of terrorism, the reason why I hate the crime so deeply (in addition to the fact that it killed so may innocent people).

Noted Koranic scientist Quraish Shihab has written a book to counter the "false accusations against Islam" contained in the controversial movie Fitna, released recently by Dutch politician Geert Wilders.

Ayat-Ayat Fitna, Sekelumit Keadaban Islam di Tengah Purbasangka (Fitna Verses, a Tiny Bit of Islamic Civility in the Middle of Prejudice), launched in Jakarta on Sunday, refutes Wilders' misleading interpretations of the five Koranic verses quoted in the film.

In the 90-page book, Quraish clarifies each of the verses, reflecting the interpretations to which Muslims worldwide generally adhere.

Wilders' short film features footage of the September 11 attacks and the Madrid train bombing, preceded by a recitation of Verse 60 of the Koran's Sura Al-Anfal (8).

The verse is translated in Fitna as: "Prepare for them whatever force and cavalry ye are able of gathering, to strike terror into the hearts of the enemies of Allah and your enemies."

The implication is the Koran instructs Muslims to commit acts of terrorism.

Quraish said Wilders had distorted the meaning of the verse by excluding the five preceding verses (Sura 8:55 to 8:59), which put the excerpt in context.

The verse actually refers to attitudes when facing battle, not daily life, said the former rector of Jakarta's Syarif Hidayatullah State Institute of Islamic Studies, now the State Islamic University.

"Strike terror", he said, was intended to prevent enemies in a battle from attacking, which could therefore prevent the battle itself, as battle was not always inevitable when defending oneself or one's territory, religion or nation.

Such self-defense in battle, Quraish said, is different from terrorism.

He said the word "enemies" referred to those who violated treaties, hence provoking war.

A state of war and the betrayal of a pact also form the context of Verse 4 in the Sura Muhammad (47), which Wilders "abruptly cut" and "wrongly translated", Quraish said.

To clarify the meaning of Verse 39 in Al-Anfal, the final sura quoted in the film, the prominent Koranic exegete said warfare was the very last option Muslims could take, "should they find no other way to avoid oppression or ensure security".

Even if Muslims must become involved in a war, he added, they must obey rules such as not attacking women or children, not cutting down trees and not destroying the environment.

Quraish also gave elucidations of the other two verses quoted, 56 and 89 in Sura An-Nisaa (4), which Wilders used as examples of the Koran's anti-Semitism and instructions to kill non-Muslims.

Quraish said any interpretation of the verses could not separate them from those that preceded and followed them if their true context and meaning were to be understood.

He said Fitna (an Arabic term for "false accusation") was an appropriate title for the movie, as it "describes the real intention of its maker, that is, slandering Islam and its holy book".

In the last chapter of his book, Quraish calls on Muslims to deal with Fitna firmly and patiently by refraining from "anything detrimental to Islam or to Muslims themselves".

He said it was normal for Muslims to protest against the movie and "break off relations or partnerships with those who support the harassment".

He advised Muslims not to make general assumptions about innocent people or groups and to keep treating everyone fairly.

Quraish distributed free copies of his book in several mosques across Jakarta.

It is also available for download at www.lenterahati.com.

This article was published on The Jakarta Post's May 5, 2008, edition.

Einstein's theory of relativity, when applied to times, can be easily understood through this poem I wrote at high school ...

Time

But as time goes by
I know I'll find the way to forget you

A friend snapped me recently for saying that I like books with beautiful endings but not those with sad, tragic endings.

In fact, I only want to read books I know ending happily, which is the reason why I mostly read children's books; while being rather reluctant to read those ending tragically.

That friend of mine, who is a graduate from a school of English literature in Yogyakarta, adores the latter, ones that she regards as masterpieces of literature.

She's not alone of course. In fact, those 'psycho' writers (I'm sorry, indeed, if anyone feels offended) producing tragic, horrible endings have received a lot more recognitions than those writing happy stories. Well, at least it seems so.
My friend's favorite authors, like George Elliot, Edgar Allan Poe, etc...or local famous writers like Gunawan Muhammad, Ayu Utami and Pramoedya Anantha Toer...are those regarded as the best in the literature world.

When I said I couldn't stand reading their works and prefered happy children's or Jane Austen's stories, my friend accused me, at least through disapproving look on her countenance, of not being able to face the reality.
She said those happy-ending books were addiction, drawing people far from reality.

I realize that lives are not as beautiful as those beautifully-ending stories; that what really do happen are often as tragic as what the most tragic novels can tell.

My life alone at least until now -thank God- is not a tragic one. But, I can say that I have gone through so many difficult times; have tasted so many bitter and painful experiences.
So, why on earth would I ever add the pains and burdens with unnecessary, tragic stories of other people? Why would I have to make my dark days become even darker with eerie, horrible realities that the characters in the books are undergoing?

Running away from reality won't settle problems. But, a lot of times, when things become more and more unbearable, that's the best thing you can do.

Forget your problems for a while, and then come back to tackle with them after collecting enough energy from a ‘rest’ and renewing your optimism.
This is what happy-ending books can do me; this is the reason why I continue reading them and neglect some people's ill-judges to my taste.

So, I say that happy-ending books are the best, though I don’t deny that I like those with stories of life struggles better than those completely flat.

The only problem remains is that I sort of knowing no more other children's books thick enough to fulfill that particular reading taste of mine.
Examples of these kind of books are The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter…

Anyone knows others...?

P.S.: I’m currently more interested in less-fantasy books like Huck.

As oil price finally passes US$120 per barrel, the Indonesian government has finally decided that it will cut the oil subsidy and let the domestic oil price increase to some extent in June.

Well, well, this is a dilemma. The president is accused of trying to maintain his popularity for the 2009 presidential election by maintaining the current oil price; however it is true many poor people here will be suffering from the rising price, which will inevitably prompt the prices of other goods in the market.

The World Bank reported in 2006 that 40 percent of Indonesia's 230 million population lived with less than $2 per day...pathetic, isn't it?

Now if the oil price increases, people will have to spend more on transport expenses. So will the industry, which will surely have to also pay more for many of their industrial processes.
These will increase prices of many goods, including those not directly affected by the rising oil price (such as apartment monthly fees, etc).

Inflation occurs.

Who will suffer most? At least that 40 percent of the population for certain.

Now those high officials and business people, who won't be much affected with the soaring oil price, are not of course concerned much with this.

What's on their minds is how to maintain good business climate, which is important for their businesses.
If the government continues subsidizing the oil price, they argues, it will have to allocate up to Rp 250 trillion (approximately $27 billion) for oil subsidy only, while our 2008 state budget amounts to only some Rp 987.48 trillion. Rp 250 billion is more than a quarter of the total state budget!

Well, that makes sense, of course. That's why Mr. President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono finally gave up and announced Monday that it would increase the oil price by June.

My question is...why do us Indonesians have to also suffer from the skyrocketing global oil prices, if we are exporter of oil?
I mean, c'mon...we're the member of the OPEC (the ORganization of Petroleum Exporting Countries).

The president said Monday that Indonesia is considering to resign from the OPEC because we are no longer an oil exporter.

However, I'm sure --though having no exact data-- that Indonesia produces a quite large number of oil and has to only import a little portion of our total national oil consumption.
So it means that we have to pay more only for the portion of oil we're importing, right?

Well, well, well...where the problem is I don't know.

I once heard that in fact we're exporting crude oil and importing the processed one. If that is so, than that sounds even more foolish. Don't we have those so remarkable petroleum engineers that some oil-reach Mid-East countries are trying to attract these people to work at their places with promised excellent payment?

Some say it's because of mushrooming corruptions.
Perhaps it is.

Whatever, the poor people can't avoid more sufferings as the oil price will surely increase next month.

Which is better...becoming a pharmacist, or a journalist?
The reason why I am now working at a newspaper agency is because I think that the latter is more interesting and, perhaps, better.

By being a journalist, I can travel here, there and everywhere, visiting thousands of islands in my country other than the main island of Java I've been living in all my life (btw, I live in an archipelago with more than 17,000 islands named Indonesia); and, hopefully, travel overseas, too.

Being a pharmacist...okay, there are perhaps some chances, but definitely not as many as those working as journalists can have. Most pharmacists have to work in the same laboratories, or the same pharmacies, or the same pharmacy divisons of the same hospitals almost every day in their lives.
Only those with remarkable achievements or lucky enough to get post at marketing division of pharmaceutical firms (i.e. those having attractive looks in addition to amiable disposition) can do a lot of travels (abroad).

However, this was not what I had on mind when I graduated from high school some seven years ago. Due to my quiet satisfying scores in chemistry exams, I thought I would do good in studies with many chemistry subjects. So, in addition to some other considerations, I chose to enroll at a pharmaceutical department of a local state university instead of basic chemistry or chemical engineering department.

Only after I was doing my final year at the School of Pharmacy I realized how I want to be a writer, and not a pharmacist.
But, that didn't necessarily mean I just quit from the school. In fact, after completing my undergraduate study, I immediately continued to a-year professional education, which can give me a competency certificate as a pharmacist, so I can work at hospitals or pharmacies.

Unfortunately, it was such a horrible final exam I had to take before graduating from the one-year study. I failed the exam, and had to wait for some six months before I could take part in another exam.

Prompted by my lack of money condition and rather extreme boredom, I then decided to apply for jobs I could get with my Bachelor's degree only; and...shortly, I thereafter landed on this publishing company I'm currently working at.

And the exam...? A lecturer said that I have lost my chance to take part in it due to my continuous delays to do it (caused by my full-time employment).

And how do I feel leaving the field that could or should have been mine?

There's a regret. I feel sorry for leaving it. You know, after years of study...and suddenly I don't make the study of any use...there's of course a deep regret.

I of course hope I can combine the pharmaceutical knowledge I have gained with my large interest in writing.
But, things don't always come the way we want to...and now as I do my favorite writing job nearly every day, I have to kind of abandoning the result of my five-year study in pharmaceutical science.

Well, well, well...things haven't been settled despite some encouragements, as well as discouragements from family and pals; the reason why I'm now writing it here.

Have any suggestions? I would appreciate all inputs. Thank you very much if you give me any...